


Escapism

by not_a_tuna_fish_ish



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Arguing, Cowboys, Crying, Dream World, Dreams, Escapism by Rebecca Sugar, F/M, Hot Chocolate, Kissing, M/M, No Beta, Rain, Requited Love, Sunflowers, Unrequited Love, Whiskey - Freeform, a little bit of angst (just a smidge), and now its this!, and this is by far the best version of it, but you dont need to know them in order to enjoy, fun fact! this story has been written a few times before, it has references to my other fic's, once it was an unposted crankiplier fic, some surrealist elements, songfic (kinda), the ocean and the sea, then it was an unposted georgenotfound fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:47:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29604780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_a_tuna_fish_ish/pseuds/not_a_tuna_fish_ish
Summary: Dream and Technoblade fall asleep and share a dream in a beautiful place by the sea. In sleep, Techno remembers their past lives- and their past loves.Songfic! Based off of ‘Escapism’ by Rebecca SugarBrought to you by the author of ‘An Unending Brevity’
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 44
Kudos: 112





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody! Good to see you all <3 
> 
> At several points in this chapter they fall asleep in their dreams. I only realized that’s not how that works after I finished writing it, my apologies.

Technoblade opens his eyes. Sunlight is streaming in from a canopy of leaves high above his head. He watches the bright light pour in between the branches and fall down around him in lovely patterns. He can hear birds and the soil underneath him is teeming with life, worms buried far below, bones decaying deep into the earth. 

He is lying in a bed of grass. Confused, he sits up and takes a deep breath. The air is fresh and easy to breath, and he smiles a little. 

There’s a path near to him, he follows it. It’s lined with pretty yellow flowers that sit at the base of the trees, and big white ones that sprout up from their own bushes and plants. In the canopy above, pink buds can be seen hanging on the vines, and he reaches his hand up to touch them. Smooth, unbloomed petals glide between his fingers. 

As the forest starts to get more sparse the path comes to an end, and Techno finds himself barefoot in the sand. He looks out into an ocean, richly blue and vast, and a horizon that cuts the world in two. He can hear the sound of the waves crashing onto the shore and it soothes his head. 

Standing knee-deep into the ocean, his pants rolled up so that they wouldn’t get wet (although they still did), was Dream. He was looking out over the sea, seaspray on his face and clothes, the wind carding through his hair. 

“Hello,” said Techno, and the other man turned around. 

“Hi,” said Dream. 

“Are we dreaming?” Techno asked, making his way closer to the other man. Dream left the water and winced as the wind blew against his legs, crossing his arms in cold. 

“We must be. I’ve heard about these kinds of dreams before, where it’s like, you’re there with somebody else.”

“That’s interesting. You don’t have to get out of the water, then. Is it nice?”

Dream smiled and the sunlight caught on his face, warming it up. “Yes. Fancy a swim, Technoblade?”

“I do. I really do.” He looked out at the water, the way the tides rocked the surface back and forth, the wash of the crystal white foam against the pearly sands. In the distance he could see cliffsides that dropped off into the water, the plants trailing down them into the ocean, mingling with the seaweed and algae. Little black mussels and clams buried themselves among the rocks, the striped pattern of their shells matching the ancient rocks, eroded away by time and wind.

Techno tore off his clothes, a smile on his lips, and ran forward into the ocean. Water surrounded him as his head went under. As he surfaced, he could hear Dream’s laughter, light and unafraid. 

“C’mon in!” He called, treading water. In a moment Dream was beside him and splashing his face. Techno giggled and grabbed the other man’s arm, wrestling him, trying to pull him under. Dream resisted playfully, and tried to push Techno in instead, but to no avail- he lost his footing and a head of blond hair plunged below the surface. 

Techno laughed in triumph. “I win,” he said, as Dream resurfaced. 

Dream had something bright in his eyes. _How quickly the years melted off of me, something young and happy uncovered underneath._ “You win.”

They swam until the sun started to fall below the earth. A colorful twilight filled the sky with pink and orange, a rosy hue blanketing them both. 

“When do you think this dream will end?” Technoblade asks, as they are wading out of the water. 

“I don’t know. I hope it never does.” 

“You hope it never does? You want to stay here forever, with me?”

“I want to stay here in paradise.”

“I see.” He scans the horizon. “Do you feel cold? I feel cold.” 

“Me too. Let’s try to find somewhere to get warm. I think I know where something might be.” Dream moved to take a step forward, but instead of the grassy foliage that he was expecting, his foot landed on the hardwood floor of a little cabin. They looked around at the place, it was cozy and felt warm. 

“Oh,” said Technoblade. 

“I like this dream.”

They found blankets and wrapped themselves in them, then they rested on the couch. The lights were dim and the fireplace flickered to life. Dream could hear it crackling softly in the corner, the heat of the flames warming them both. 

As the starry sky twinkled outside they found themselves sitting closer and closer together until they were wrapped into one another, arms tangled and legs touching. 

The only sound was the sound of their breathing as the night grew still. “Beloved,” Techno whispered to Dream.

“Why did you say that?” 

“It felt right. Here, in our dreams, things are strange. I remember seeing you in other times, in other universes. I remember calling you beloved, once. I said it a lot.” 

“Is that true?”

“Why would I lie to you.” 

“I don’t understand what’s happening. I want you to touch me.” Dream took Technoblade’s hand and put it in his lap. “Touch me. Have I asked you that before?” 

Techno did as Dream asked. “You have said that and more. You have told me you loved me.” 

“I can’t say that now.” 

Techno did not ask him to. He simply touched him until he didn’t want to be touched anymore, and then he held him. They fell asleep like that, curled up together.

\---

They’re sitting in a rocky clearing, inland, and it feels nice.

“We must be on the west coast,” said Techno. “The winds coming in here remind me of the ones from the Pacific, and the rocky cliffs, and the beach and all of it.” 

“We are nowhere!” Dream proclaims, and he lays down. His head is cushioned by moss and he looks up at a stony blue sky. Little yellow things bloom around him in a flurry, and in a moment he is surrounded by flowers. 

“You’re right, we are nowhere,” says Techno, and he follows Dream’s gaze to the expanse above. The clouds darken with grey. “It looks like it is going to rain.” 

In a flurry, water gushes down from the sky and douses them both. Dream yelps in surprise before laughing brightly. He sits up and kisses Techno’s face through the torrent of rain. Techno catches him and graciously accepts them, leading Dream away, back to the cabin. The raindrops kiss his face in time with Dream, and he pushes the other boy gently, until they’re running through the mud and grass. 

Techno stops Dream with wide arms and holds his face. “You're crying,” he says. 

“Yeah.” 

“How come? You can tell me.” 

“I feel so much. I want you to kiss me on the lips.”

Techno brought his face forward and did. It was soft but not sickeningly, the rain beating down on them holding them to the ground. 

Dream gasps and soaks up the other man like he was going to die, clutching his shirt and dragging him closer, and pulling him into him, until the world becomes drowning and blurry and he has a headache from all the tears. 

Before the rain can ruin them they go back to the cabin and warm themselves by the fire. Neither of them feel hungry but there’s food in the cupboards, if they want it. There’s hot chocolate, too, and Techno makes it. It's sweet and good and it warms Dream up.

\---

The cabin has two rooms, Dream is alone in a bed as the moon rises outside his window. He closes his eyes and tries to let his consciousness rest.

He can’t. Red-hot nightmares plague his vision as he tosses and turns in bed, until he finally stands and walks across the hall. 

“Techno?” he says, as he knocks on the door. There is no response, but he opens it anyways. 

The room is cool, the man sprawled out on the bed, face pressed into a pillow. 

Dream walks up to him, but stops in his tracks when a muffled moan spills out of the other man. 

The man on the bed is crying out for a name Dream doesn’t recognize. He goes to him anyways, sitting beside him and putting a hand on his back. 

“Techno,” he whispers.

The pink haired man ruts against his mattress and Dream soothingly caresses his back. “It’s okay. It’s okay,” he consoles as the man's noises become frustrated. 

Techno’s eyes snap open and he rolls around, his eyes meeting the other’s in the dim light. Wordlessly he pulls him down and turns to him instead of the mattress. Heavy breathing rings in Dream’s ears until he’s finished and he collapses onto the blond man lying below him. 

They calm down and sleep with their arms wrapped around one another. It’s peaceful.

\---

“When do you think we will wake up?” Dream asks Techno. It is dark, and they are walking through a forest. The stars and moon are the only light, Dream has one hand out in front of him so he doesn’t bump into anything, the other hand connected to Techno so he doesn’t lose him. Neither knows how they got there, the last thing they remember is the bed.

“Not sure,” his voice is heavy with sleep. “Sorry I came all over you.” 

“It’s okay. Have you done that before, in a past life?” 

“Yeah. A lot of times.” 

“As many as you have called me beloved?” Dream asks, into his ear. 

Techno feels something cold crawl down his spine. “More.” 

“Ah, I see. How many lives were we like that?”

“I don’t know. I only remember two of them but I think there were more.”

“Were you always such a filthy pervert? I know you like me. I know you like my body. Are you always this way?” Dream ground his hips into the other. “You like that?” The words are mean, teasing. 

“Yes, I've always been this way. And you’re always this way. Always lying, always denying, always having to find excuses to put your body up against mine because you can never face the fact that you want it too.” 

Dream’s hips froze. “You’re just saying things.” 

“I’m not. And you know I’m not. Go on, do it again. Put your dick close to mine again. I know you want to.” Techno holds the blond man’s shoulders. “You’ve always been this way. And I’ve always loved you, anyways.” 

“You love me?” Dream asks, his voice a wet melancholy. 

“You love me too. You just don’t know it yet. You pushed it too far down.” 

“I don’t love you. I said I _don’t_ love you!” 

“Fine.” 

They keep walking. Neither knows where they are going.

“Dream,” Techno says, “I am going to touch your face.” 

“W-why.” 

“I want to wipe away the tears.” He reaches up and his hand collides with Dream’s chin. It rests there for a moment, before making its way up to the space underneath his eyes. He feels the wetness and takes it away, catching tears as they fall, the other man crying in the dark. 

“You mock me,” says Dream.

“I could never.” He brings Dream into his arms.

\---

They’re in a quiet place, a clearing just before the cliff. They can hear the ocean from where they are sitting, it’s daytime out.

“I think I’m going to wake up soon,” says Dream. 

“I think I am too.”

“Will I remember this?” 

“I don’t know.”

Dream got closer to him. The breeze from the sea pushed his hair back. His eyes were a bright green. “What will I do, without this?” 

Techno takes Dream hands and puts them on his chest. Dream can feel the other man’s heartbeat, and the rise and fall of his lungs. “You’ll get by, I’m sure.”

The pounding in his chest grows louder and louder until it starts to consume their fragile world. Techno thrusts forward and kisses him on the lips. It’s the last thing Dream feels for sure before it all starts to dissolve. The ocean waves wash him through and his eyes snap open. 

Awake. In the real world. He clutches his pillow and wishes it were warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The other realities Techno is referring to: 
> 
> 1\. https://archiveofourown.org/works/28802640/chapters/70636701  
> 2\. https://archiveofourown.org/works/29423406/chapters/72281283
> 
> And for those of you who read ‘A Golden Age,” the name Techno moaned in his sleep was Mary.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope you’re all doing well. I appreciate everyone who’s reading this <3 and I hope you all have a wonderful day.

The next night they are sitting side by side on the beach. The waves roll up the shore and get close to their feet, but recede just before touching them. The water looks crystal clear, and the foam from the waves is pure and white, spreading out an intricate lace pattern onto the sands before them. 

Dream turns to the man beside him. “Did you remember me when you were awake?” 

He shakes his head no. 

“Me neither,” says Dream, softly. 

They watch the ocean. “Your eyes are a shade of green,” Techno says. 

Dream smiles, small, with his head turned away. “Yeah, I suppose they are.”

“I didn’t know they were going to be that way.” 

“Green?”

“Yeah… but also…” 

“Also what? Tell me.” 

“They’re, like,” he looks flustered. “I just like them, that’s all!” 

Dream laughs at him. “Wow, you really are in love with me.” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” 

The blond man looks a little shocked at the open admission. 

Techno cards his hands through the beach. “What? You want me to hide it from you? I never can.” The sand falls between his fingers, the ivory turning into a waterfall. 

“It’s weird. What does that mean, anyways? You want to kiss me, is that all?” 

“No, like I love you.” 

“But what does that mean?”

“It means that, it’s how the, um, it’s like how the-” 

“You’re stumbling, you must not really know. Or it’s something perverted.” 

“It’s not perverted! Will you stop, you’re so trigger-happy! Always jumping at my words. Settle down over there and let me speak.” His tone was old and practiced, like he had said it a million times before. Like they were an old married couple. 

Dream must’ve heard it, because his eyes lightened a little and he turned fond. “Alright, go on.” 

“It’s like you are the ocean and I’m the shore. I’m stuck to you because of gravity. Gravity isn’t perverted, right?” 

“That’s not a fair comparison. Gravity doesn’t come all over people in their sleep.” 

“Oh! Low blow, low blow.”

“You’ll be okay,” he mumbled. 

“You know I don’t have to put up with this? I can just walk away.”

“Do it then. Hey, were the sheets sticky when you woke up?” 

“Alright, that’s it.” Techno stood up and walked toward the forest, away from Dream. 

“Coward!” Dream called over his shoulder, but his voice broke. 

Techno’s determined march wavered a little when he heard it. “You are so mean. You’re always so mean to me. Why? Why are you doing this?” 

“I-” 

Techno turned around and saw the blond man had a hand over his mouth to stifle a sob. His eyes were squeezed shut like he was in pain. “No,” Techno said, gently. “No, no don't cry my dear. Or at least don’t hide it. Here…” He went to Dream and knelt by his side. 

“I- I’m not-” 

He pulled the other man into his arms. “I’m sorry, honey. I’m sorry. I love- I don’t want you to cry. I didn’t want this.” 

Dream was quiet with his fists balled up in Techno’s shirt. 

“My dear, my sweet, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Techno whispers into Dream’s ear, rocking him a little, holding him steady. “I love you. I care about you, don’t cry.”

Dream didn’t listen and silently sobbed into Techno’s shoulder, his shoulders shaking in little movements. The other man caressed him, as they listened to the humming rhythm of the sea behind them, the crash of the waves on the shore, the water turning below.

\---

They’re sitting in front of the fireplace in the cabin. “This place is familiar to me,” Techno says.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I think we’ve sat in front of the fireplace before.” The flames flickered and cracked, casting yellow shadows on them and the walls, the warmth spreading outwards. 

“Oh. What happened last time we did?” Green eyes glanced at him in the dim light.

“Uh… we…” 

“We what?” 

The room turned heavy, the weight of the air pressing down on their shoulders and making it hard to breathe. 

Dream knew what they did, he saw it in the dip of the other man’s shoulder blade and the muscles that tensed beneath his clothes. “We what?” He asked again, anyways, voice dripping slowly like honey. 

Techno couldn’t look him in the eye but he brought his hands up to touch him. Dream leaned into it. 

They moved like they were under covers, carelessly and warmly, away from the prying eyes and cruel judgement of the waking world. It was hungry but not repulsive, not sick although they were both fevered. They slept on the floor with tangled legs.

\---

Dream wakes the next morning with nobody beside him. He thinks he must have woken up in the real world, until Techno appears crouched before him with his hands on Dream’s arms. His body feels stiff and his mouth is dry. He feels as though he’s been through a battle.

“You were a warrior,” Techno jokes.

“Shuddup,” he mumbles, and Techno wants to kiss him. 

“Would you like a glass of water?” He asks, instead.

“Yes, please.” 

Techno brings him one, and he drinks thirstily. It washes down his throat and cleanses him, and he is so aware of his own body. “I want to go again,” Dream says. 

“Again?” Techno blushes. 

“Yeah.” 

“Why? Do you need it that much?” 

“Yeah.” _No, I just don’t want to be away from you._ “Come here.” He touches the hands on his arms. The knuckles are callused from use, of what he doesn’t know. 

“Of course,” Techno’s manner is gentle but firm. _I’ll do anything for you._

It’s suddenly night outside, the pale moonlight falling around them like a dress. Techno gets a memory, of a summer night in a place with tall grass, flowers, the weeds swaying around them. Their bare skin exposed to the stars. Only them. 

“We did it in the fields, once,” he says to Dream. “I think.” He isn’t sure, the pictures are blurry. 

“Was it nice?” 

“Yes. So many moments we spent together, lost from my mind.” 

“Don’t say those kinds of things. Think about here, and now. Now is good.” Dream threaded the other man’s fingers through his hair, delicately. “This is good,” his voice is sweet. 

“I agree.”

\---

They are sitting in a sunflower field. It appeared around them when they were having each other, Dream could feel the stalks of the flowers on his back and the other man by his side, the flowers rocking in the pouring moonlight.

Now Techno is trying to teach him how to weave them together, in the dim light of the night. He makes Dream touch his hands to know the positions, which stem crosses which, which piece should lie loose until the end and which needs to be kept tight. Dream feels the small knots between his fingers, traces them, memorizes their twists. He steals kisses as every opportunity and once he hears Techno giggle with something loving. 

“Now, tuck the stem under, like this, you see?” He guides Dream’s hand. 

“Yes, I see. And now it’s a crown?” 

“And now it’s a crown. You can wear it on your head. You are the sunflower king, your hair as bright and yellow as their petals.” 

“How poetic.” Another stolen kiss. 

“We are only two voices in the dark,” says Techno. 

“Two voices and their hands.”

“How pretty. I will be a voice with you in the sunflower field, a voice and hands, forever, if you wish.” 

“I wish.” Dream gets close to the other man, trying to touch every part of his body, as much of him as he can have. 

“I might wake up soon,” says Techno. 

“Don’t go,” says Dream, hopelessly. 

“I have to.” Techno opened his mouth to speak again, but he was already fading away. The world collapsed on itself. When Dream woke up he touched his own cheek, a breath of a kiss still there, and found it wet with tears.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come and get y'all juice!!!! i hope you guys like this one <3
> 
> this chapter was based off a tumblr post by user s4mm4n , which you can find here:  
> https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CP9BEEojUChCziWeuoXy9OZru0CYK091RDofnEU6rAw/edit?usp=sharing

When Dream woke up he felt like he was moving through honey, the air thick and his head blurry. He walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. 

The water gushed down as steam filled the room. He plugged the drain so he could take a bath, feeling his hand plunge into the scalding water, and then knelt down beside the tub. 

The fan above him flickered to life, the whir of the blades making a pattern in his head, a sound that hesitated and sped up with a rhythm. His eyes followed the flow of the water, the ripples and splashes, and it soothed him. Staring into the water he thought he saw colors, little pieces of the overhead light that caught and changed, as if through a prism. As he knelt, his hands bracing him up, he started to doze off… 

He saw a memory, from another life, with him and Technoblade. He was only asleep for a few seconds but he saw a whole lifetime. 

Here’s what he saw...

Dream was standing at the top of the stairs, looking down at what might’ve been his house. Everything looks elegant, and is made out of deep colored wood and lace coverings. Like the old days. It was a big house, somewhere rural. 

“...and don’t forget to do the undersides! Wash, them well, boy,” a female voice said, probably his mother. She spoke with a steady southern accent. 

A man who was standing out of sight replied: “Thank y’a, miss, I appreciate your kindness.” Dream thought the man sounded like a cowboy. 

“You’re welcome. There are blankets in the cupboard under the stairs as well, you may take some for tonight if you wish.”

“Thank y’a.” 

“Now go wash those horses.” 

“Yes ma’am.” The boy stepped into view and caught Dream’s eye. It was Technoblade, but younger. He had his hat in his hands and a soft look in his face. _I’m younger as well,_ Dream realized, suddenly aware of his body that was not unfamiliar to him, although it had definitely been a few years since he’d known it. 

“Dream!” shouted his mother. He jumped, startled, and Techno disappeared out the door. “Stop standing around up there. Don’t you have a girl to go chase?” Her tone was firm but not mean. 

“Yes, ma’am.” _I told you, I’m waiting for the right one!_ His thoughts came to him from somewhere outside of his head. “I’m just looking for the right one,” he said. 

“You’ll be lookin’ until the day you die, if you’re that picky. Now go on, get outta here!” She waved a towel at him jokingly, like she was trying to chase him off. Dream smiled and ducked down the stairs, stepping out of the door. “And don’t forget your hat!” his mother called after him, tossing him one. He caught it with one hand and closed the door. 

Before him was a beautiful southern plain, with rolling hills covered in green wheat, and an endless blue sky hanging above. He saw a barn decked just an acre away from where he was, and the house behind him, which was bigger than he even thought. His parents must own the farm. Oak trees threaded the border between theirs and the neighbor’s plot, and there were a few orange trees just down a hill. He saw the bright fruit hanging on the branches and wondered if it would be sweet. 

Technoblade was just stepping into the barn when he turned around and saw Dream. He looked away, timidly, and hurried inside. 

Dream rushed down the hill and snached a few fruits from the tree, then made his way to the barn. The hem of his shirt lifted up in the wind and he saw the hand-made stitches on the end, and knew all of his clothes were probably like that. 

He knocked on the door. The sun would set in less than an hour. 

Techno appeared, looking frightened. “Hello, man,” he said to Dream. “I don’t want no trouble…” 

“You’ll get no trouble from me. I just wanted to offer you a few oranges from our tree down there.” 

“I see.” He looked at the fruit apprehensively. Techno reached his hand out and took it, their fingers brushing together. Dream shifted his hand so their palms would touch for a second, too. _Hello,_ the gesture said. _I know you._

It was over in an instant, but impossible to miss. “I reckon my mother hired you to tend to the barn for the night?” said Dream. 

“Yes, in exchange for a place to sleep and a warm meal in the morning.” 

“I’ll leave you to it, then. You enjoy that orange.” 

“Alright…”

Dream turned around and walked back to the house. A picture played in his head on repeat, a bead of juice dripping down Techno’s chin. He clutched the fruit in his hand and tried to ground himself, to let the image go- but he could not, and all he succeeded in doing was crushing the orange.

\---

Night fell in the world. Dream watched the hours slip by on a timepiece by his bed. He found a flask in his jacket pocket and felt its weight, knew it would be full.

Creeping out of bed, he walked downstairs and left the house. Wind bit his face, and he looked up into the pitch-black sky, speckled with stars that burned brightly, the only lights in sight. 

He walked across the fields, listening to the rustle of the wheat brushing against his legs. Then he knocked on the door of the barn.

A tired-eyed Technoblade opened it. “Y- yes?” 

“I was just… coming to check on you. Make sure you didn’t need anything, and everything was sorted with the horses.” 

“It's the middle of the night.”

“Yeah. Say, can I come in?” Dream looked down, at his hands. 

It was a hot moment before Techno opened the door wider and leaned back. The blond man followed him in, taking off his hat. 

“What do you want?” asked Techno.

“Nothing.. I.. how about a drink?” 

Techno darted his eyes around nervously, then leaned in close. “What are you playing at, boy? You trying to get us killed?” 

Dream caught his gaze. “I’m not like that. I’m not one of you.” 

“One of me? Sure, you’re the man in the lovin’, who cares.” 

“No- no, no, I mean I’m not like that. I ain’t queer.” 

Techno stood tall, suddenly defensive. “Who said I was queer? You tryin’ start something?” 

Dream put his hands up. “Please! Wait, I wasn’t saying anything.” 

“Get outta here.” 

“No, wait! Let me stay. I don’t mean you any harm.” 

Techno wavered a little, something in Dream’s tone seemed genuine. 

“Really, I don’t. I swear I don’t. You don’t know this yet but I- I could never hurt you. Not really. I-” He winced. 

Techno seemed convinced, at least for now. “Well,” his voice softened. “I guess you ain’t been mean to me. We just met, anyways.” 

“Yeah.. we just met. Name’s Dream, by the way.” He stuck his hand out. 

“Techno.” He took the hand and shook. Light from a fire flickered on both of their faces, a little one Techno started just to keep himself warm. 

The blond man held on to the hand. “I’m sorry,” he said, head turned to the side, “I don’t know what’s happening…” He forced himself to let go, and felt something in his chest break when he did. 

“It’s okay, I understand.” 

“Will y’a have a drink with me?” The low light flashed on his cheeks. 

“Alright,” said Techno, his movements growing heavy with trust. 

They sat by the fire and traded sips of whiskey. Dream could taste the other man on the mouth of the flask, he tried to pretend like he wasn’t savoring it, but Techno saw. 

When Dream offered it to him next, Techno took it, slowly. Then he licked the rim of the whiskey before handing it back. 

Dream flared red. “I’m sorry,” he said. 

“Don’t be. You need it.” His voice was so gentle. 

“I care for you,” Dream confessed. 

“Is that right?” 

“Yeah, I do. I really do.” 

Techno put a tender hand on the back on his neck...

Dream woke up. His hands had found their way into the bathtub and were sunk into the water, palms flat on the bottom, red from the heat. The fan whirred above him familiarly. 

He shivered despite his warmth and pulled himself to a stand, getting undressed and lowering himself into the bath. Much of the dream was fading from his mind, but some sharp images still clung to him, and he could taste whiskey on his lips. 

He tried to breathe.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have my pile of hot garbage! lol
> 
> im probably gonna end this story soon because i have no idea where im going with it and tbh, my heart isnt really in it. Like, theyre just soulmates. w h a t e v e r
> 
> in any case, leave a comment down below if you enjoy <3

It’s four in the afternoon and Dream calls Technoblade. The phone rings once, twice, three times, and by the fourth ring the room is spinning and the world is moving in slow motion. He takes a shaky breath like he’s been crying and rubs his free hand on his face. 

The call goes through and he hears a voice on the other end. “Hello?” says Technoblade. 

“Techno! Hey man, how’s it going.” He puts a hand on his chest when he feels it pounding.

Techno’s voice has something heavy lying underneath it. “Uh. Good, good.” The words are simple. 

“Cool. That’s cool... I was thinking we could maybe play some bedwars or something?” He has to move the phone away from his face so he can take a deep breath. 

“Oh…” A silence. “Hey, are you alright? Your voice sounds a little off, like you’ve been running or something.”

“What? Oh yeah man, I’m fine. Just tired.” 

“Not been sleeping well?” His words crashed over Dream like a tidal wave. 

_Does he know? What does he know?_ Dream’s mouth opens in an involuntary noise. “Ugh…”

“Wow, you can barely keep it together over there.” 

His face burns hot. “Didn’t get much sleep.” 

“Hmm.” 

“So, uh, what do you think, bedwars?” 

“Why don’t you get some rest first. And then I’ll consider it.” Sounds of a mouse clicking from the other end of the line. “After all, I don’t want to screw up my win streak record. I do have a reputation to uphold.” 

“Right, whatever.” Dream suddenly felt dizzy and he laid down on the bed he had been sitting on, watching the white ceiling spin above his head, phone still pressed to his ear. 

“Was there something else you wanted to call me about?”

In his half-delirious, exhausted state, Dream spoke. “I, uh, I’ve been having dreams about you lately.”

“Is that right?” 

“Yeah.”

“Sex dreams?” Techno asked, teasingly. 

“No- nooo.” 

“Really? Because it kinda sounds like they might be sex dreams.”

“They’re not.” 

“Oh, I don’t care. You can tell me.” Suddenly, his voice softened: “You can tell me anything.” 

Dream squeezed his eyes shut. “I have to go.” 

“Don’t go. You can do it here.”

“Do what?” 

“You know what.” His voice was gentle. “Do it here, it’s okay.” 

Dream’s hand crept toward the edge of his waistband. He grabbed himself and let out a short breath, which Techno heard. 

“What was the dream like?” 

“It was… I…” He couldn’t move his hand, he was frozen. His whole body felt like it was breaking. “Techno, I have to hang up.” 

“Alright…” A beat. “I’ll see you tonight.” 

When Dream didn’t respond Techno ended the call. 

The end-tone of the phone rang in Dream’s ear. He cried out in loneliness and curled up on his side, then fell asleep, into something dreamless but restful. The wind brushed past his window, and the sound lulled him unconscious as the afternoon slipped into dusk.

\---

Techno hung up on the call and growled. He tried to undo his belt buckle but his hands fumbled and he couldn’t get them to orient. He slammed a fist on the table in frustration and stood up.

He found a bottle of whiskey and drank some, and waited with his knees pulled up to his chest until he could touch himself freely. The burning liquid singed his throat and he finished in less then a moment, calling out his lover's name on broken lips.

\---

Dream avoided going to bed that night. He walked around the city, the moon hanging low in the sky. Some of the streetlamps flickered and the roads curved out of sight, turning away past buildings and late-night stores. It got past midnight and it was cold out, and the last of the restaurants were closing, the lights in the apartments going out.

“Hello,” said a lady on a street corner. Her hair was big and her clothes were pulled tight on her skin, a cigarette dripping from her mouth. She smiled kindly. 

Dream didn’t say anything, just tried to keep going. But his feet staggered on the asphalt and he found himself stopped. 

“Would you like a good time, honey?” The lady said from behind him.

“Yes, please.” His voice wasn’t familiar to him. 

She laughed. “You don’t have to sound so sad about it. I promise I’m fun.” She lead him to a motel and whispered something to the lobbyman, who let her in. 

He buried himself deep inside her. “Techno,” he grunted out blindly. “Techno…” 

She left him as he fell asleep on the bed, taking what was due from his wallet, which had fallen out of his clothes in the hurry. She turned off the light and went out of the room, closing the door softly behind her.

\---

They were standing on a beach again, Techno was waiting for him with his legs in the water. When Dream showed up Techno went to him with a big smile on his face.

“Dream,” he said, like he was breathing for the first time in a while. Techno embraced him. 

“You know what I did,” said Dream. Guilt hung around his neck like a noose, and he couldn't hug Techno back. “You know what I did. There are no secrets here, not in this place.” 

“I do know,” said Techno. “And I forgive you.” 

Dream started to shake. “How. How. You can’t- you can’t just forgive me for that. You should hate me. Hate me! Drop me, shove my body away in disgust.” 

“No.” He held Dream so gently. “No. I could never do that to you.”

Tears spilled onto Techno’s shoulder. “Why not.” 

“Dream!” Techno made the other man look him in the eyes. Dream saw the whole universe tucked into his pupils. “Love!” The sea swole up around them. Techno smacked it with his fist once, for emphasis. Water splashed on them both, and it felt like a kiss. “Love! It’s love!” He was smiling brightly. 

“I don’t understand.”

“You do! And it’s brilliant and ugly, and it makes you sleep with prostitutes and it makes you say things you don’t mean and it makes you see the whole world differently and it makes you want to kiss people! And it’s love.” He grinned at Dream and pressed his lips to the other man’s cheek. “And it makes you miss someone so much you jerk off to the thought of them with half a quart of whiskey in your body.” 

“You did that?”

“Uh, yeah, it was kinda gross, but I really needed you. Scratch that, I _need_ you. Like, always.”

“Yeah, I get it, you’re in love with me.” 

“Oh good! Glad you finally caught on.” He pressed another kiss to the man’s face.

“I can’t believe you’re not mad at me.” 

“And I can’t believe you’re still in denial. Looks like we’re both full of surprises today.” The sea had receded back to its normal level, and Techno looked out at the horizon. “I heard you call my name out, when you were with her.”

Dream sputtered. “I did not.” His face heated up at the memory.

“Mm, that’s part of why I wasn’t mad. Your heart wasn’t in it.” 

“Well, maybe that bit is true.” _I missed him._

Techno took Dream by the hand and led him inland. “Hey, what do ya say we live together? Buy a little house somewhere nice and just be around each other?” 

“No.” 

“I’ll let you think about it.” 

“Don’t need to.” 

“You are not being very amicable right now.” 

“Amicable? Who uses that word? English major alert.” 

“Ah, see! We already bicker like an old married couple! Living together is barely a step further.” 

Dream snorted. “You are insufferable.” 

Techno grinned and kissed him. Little flowers sprouted up where they stood.


End file.
